13 Reasons Why I Hate 13 Reasons Why

I hope you never watch the show. I managed a whole 10 minutes before I shut it off and wish I hadn't wasted the time.

Here are 13 reasons why I hate 13 reasons why so much:

#1 Because of my Pediatric ER on any given night

Let me start by saying that I know a little bit about this topic. As a Pediatric ER doctor, I know teenage suicide firsthand. A typical night in the ER for me includes no less than 1 and regularly up to 6 teenage depression and suicidal evaluations. The age is getting younger and younger. The methods of attempts more and more convoluted. I'm the one looking at teens in the eyes with scars on their necks from hanging attempts and I'm the one trying to explain to parents what in the world just happened. So please keep reading.

#2 Because Teenage Suicide is real - not fiction

This year 5000 young people ages 15-24 will die by suicide. Every minute, a teen makes an attempt serious enough to require medical attention. Millions more think about it seriously enough to have a plan. Odds are you know someone ages 10-18 who is struggling with depression, suicidal ideation, cutting, or anxiety.  I should know. I take care of them daily.

#3 Because You Don't Gain Justice by Killing Yourself

Even the hint of the idea that a human gains any sort of justice by committing suicide should be horrific enough to make us stop. The truth is that most truly depressed teenagers can't think straight enough to devise any sort of letter scheme or plan to explain their actions. Their brains are hurting and death will not cure their pain.

#4 Because of the Effect the show has Had on Teenage Suicide

I'm told that since 13 reasons why was released on Netflix, the number of teenagers being seen in hospitals for suicidal thoughts and attempt has more than doubled. While you might think that there has been an increase in awareness of the issue, the sad reality is that the real reason that the numbers are increasing are much more sobering.

#5 Because the show glamorizes suicide

Yeah. Sadly, the show glamorizes suicide to such a degree that many who might never have considered it now do. I have seen this pattern over and over again in the ER. Teens come into the ER and ask to be admitted to the mental health hospital because of the sense of community and friendship they have found there. There is now an even darker bond achieved by a suicidal lifestyle that should scare us all.

#6 Because Suicide should never be Depicted as even an Option

It's not even an option. It shouldn't even be on the table. The truth is that a show about suicide puts suicide on the table - for everyone. This is tragic and heartbreaking. Netflix should be ashamed.

#7 Because of the Darkness it brings to people who need Light

Where there is darkness there must be light. To present a darkness while glossing over the light is harmful and evil. If there can be a redemptive option out of this dark show, it is in waking us Christians up and prodding us to be the light. Our world has never been darker. Let's shine for Jesus now. Let's shine right where we are. No more fear. Speak up. Love everyone. Be the light you are called to be.

#8 Because of the missing element of Hope

Even more than light is the need for hope. Hope is the belief that change is possible. For every person reading this post who feels the weight of despair, for every soul wondering if there could be a better day, and a freer way, the answer is a resounding YES!! Jesus loves you. He died for you. He is waiting to give you life with beauty and hope. Every scar on your arms, every tear shed, every hurt you've endured HE will redeem and use for good. Don't give up. There is a better way. Hope is alive. Change is possible.

#9 Because of the lie that makes it seem as if death is not final

If there's one common thread in the show, it's that even after suicide, the star of the show still speaks. While that might sound good, ask anyone who's lost someone to anything - death is final and suicide even more so in its method and pain. My mother's brother committed suicide when he was in college. I learned his name, but nothing else about him in my 45 years on this earth. Death, you see, particularly in suicide, is silent. Painfully silent.

#10 Because of the real lack of resources to deal with the avalanche of need

Have you ever tried to seek medical help for someone with mental health problems? To say it's hard is an understatement. On a typical busy ER night, we start off with 2 social workers to do mental health evaluations and after 7pm we lose one. On any given night we could have 10 patients in the ER waiting for 1 social worker to get them the help that they need. This is real life. If a show claims to help increase awareness of the issue of teenage suicide, let me ask you the next obvious question: who is working on getting more resources into the health care sector to deal with the need? Again, I call upon the church to rise up. Counselors, get training in adolescent depression and suicide and start speaking the truth. You are called for such a time as this.

#11 Because of the missing voice of truth to the show

If it sounds redundant it's not been said enough. There is truth. There is light in this world. There is a better way to live. There is healing to be had. A show that focuses on the problem without offering truth is evil. If you're reading this post and have a voice, speak up. Shout the truth from the mountaintops. If you don't, surely the rocks will do it.

#12 Because of the deepening divide it creates between teen and parent 

While many have written about the need for parents to watch the show with their kids, the reality is that like any other netflix series, watching this show is private and isolated. Some lucky parents might be privy to open discussions on this topic, but for the truly hurting, this is a luxury they are unfamiliar with. In my opinion, this show simply widens the huge schism between parent and teen that was created the day the smartphone was dropped and continues to deepen its trenches in families everywhere.

#13 Because it is deceptive and destructive 

I'm not the only one who thinks like this. I read a great article called "13 reasons why is deceptive and destructive" over at TGC. Don't be fooled, Christians. This show is real, and it's deceptive and destructive. Odds are your kid knows all about it and already has an opinion on it. So turn your phones off, make dinner for the family tonight, and sit down with your kids and talk to them. Look them in the eyes and ask good questions. You'll be glad you did.

For years I've wondered when anyone will start paying attention to the horrific rising epidemic of teenage depression and suicide. If we're paying attention now (potentially one small benefit of the show), let's no longer just listen. Let's do something about it.

If you're reading this post and are struggling with thoughts of suicide, email me here. If you're a parent and need prayer or direction, email me here too.

And here's also a further resource for you:

Fearless podcast image copy

Ever thought about the power of your words?

I said the D word yesterday. 

I don't mean Dang, or Drat, or even Darn.

I mean the real D word.

In my defense, the Packers had just lost a 18 point lead over the Cowboys with 30 seconds left to play in the game and Aaron Rodgers was running the ball to avoid being intercepted.

So I said the D word.

And as fate would have it, my nephew Ben chose that particular moment to walk upstairs with his 2 buddies from youth group and watch the last 30 seconds of the game. Mortified, he looked at me and said one word: "Lina!"

My first instinct was to chide him for allowing two strangers into my sister's house on game day.

My second instinct was to blame the folks I work with in the ER for sullying my brain.

My third instinct was to worry about the future of my nephew and his youth group mates.

Would they ever survive the disappointment of a Bible teacher saying the D word - as justifiable as it seemed to be in that particular moment.

Half of you reading this blog are rolling your eyes over the juvenile nature of my stress. We have bigger fish to fry this week, after all.

A new president - a controversial new president mind you - is about to rule the world as we know it.

The Russians are to blame for the demise of our country.

The Syrian refugee crisis is ongoing and Assad is being touted as the Savior of the Middle East.

The economy is bad. Health care is a bust. Social media is agonizing.

And here I am worried about using the D word in front of the next generation.

The other half of you is just as mortified as my nephew was. You're about to ship back every Bible study you've ever bought from me and donate my books to the Salvation Army. Scratch that, you wouldn't sully the Salvation Army bin with a cussing Bible teacher. You'll have to drop the books off at your local Good Will instead.

Alas, meet Lina AbuJamra, aka broken Bible study teacher in desperate need of grace.

The reality is that I was wrong.

I used the D word and I was wrong.

My nephew will survive it. His youth group buddies' faith will survive. Even you will survive it.


In a world where there are bigger fish to fry, our words do matter.

They build up or they tear down.

They lift up or they destroy.

They reflect light or they hinder it from shining.

The wisest man in the world came to this conclusion: "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit - you choose" Proverbs 18:21

James the brother of Jesus also understood the power of the tongue: "So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!" James 3:5.

And who of us doesn't get it?

Who of us  hasn't felt the sorrow of a word quickly spoken?

Who hasn't agonized over words we wished we could take back?

Who hasn't wondered...if only I had chosen my words more carefully?

Even when the Packers really were to blame for such words?

So today, don't be too shocked if someone you respect accidentally uses the D word.

And don't be too rash in jumping to conclusions or in pointing fingers.

Instead, let's pray with the Psalmist: "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3.

Let us be light this day, this week, this year, 

starting with our words.

Hey have you had a chance to listen to my most recent  difficult conversation podcast about the Church and the LGBTQ community? You can listen here and send me any questions to lina@livingwithpower.org: