Ignorance is bliss – until you’re no longer ignorant.
I walk into a patient’s room. The chart says it’s a 3 year old girl with a rash. I check the rash and notice a bruise in an unusual area. I try to ignore the bruise since, after all, the family came in for the rash. The little girl is precocious, though, and can’t help oversharing. “My father likes to kiss my booboo away” she says. She doesn’t understand the significance of what she just told me.
But now I know. I am fully aware of the bomb this little girl has dropped in my lap.
I am no longer an ignorant bystander and my knowing changes everything.
I now have to decide: will I be an ally to the little girl, or will I ignore her statement by awkwardly laughing it off? Will I simply try to explain it away?
Mind you, she’s only 3. What do little 3 year-old little girls know about kisses and booboos? Her mother acts like she didn’t hear. I almost convince myself that I didn’t hear the girl’s statement correctly. But I know deep in my heart, I know what I’ve heard, and I know that it’s true.
I am a mandated reporter of child abuse. I am a pediatric Emergency room physician. I look for signs of abuse. I listen and watch and never assume the best or the worst about anyone or anything. But I am called and have vowed to be an advocate for children. I will do whatever needs to be done, so help me God, to stop any pain wrongly inflicted on a child. Or an adolescent. Or any man or woman who has been wrongly touched, abused, or hurt in any way.
It’s my job to know. It’s my privilege to know. It’s my duty to report.
Up until now that privilege and duty was restricted to a few professionals: school teachers, counselors, doctors, social workers etc. Sunday school teachers were exempt. Pastors were exempt. Friends and family were exempt. Which means that if you weren’t looking for signs of abuse, you didn’t think about it, you didn’t look for it, you didn’t see the world with the filter of the reality of abuse.
Up until now, ignorance was bliss.
And then the Catholic Church scandal of abuse broke out. How could such a cover up last for so long? Why didn’t anyone believe the children? And then the US gymnastic team scandal broke out. We watched in horrified agony as women stated to have reported the abuse, only to be ignored by the very professionals that should have protected them. This year the Southern Baptists are facing their own dirty secrets.
We no longer live in a world blissfully ignorant. And thank God for that.
Now that we know, we must decide. Will we believe the 3 year-old girl who tells us that daddy kissed her booboo away in a place he should almost never touch? Will we believe the many who have voiced their pain, much to their shame and embarrassment?
Now that we know, we must decide. What kind of people will we be?
Will we give victims the benefit of the doubt, or will we assume the best about the abusers?
Now that we know, will we seek justice where it’s needed and protect the weak?
Now that we know we must decide how we will live going forward.
Now that we know, our knowing changes everything.
Thanks Lina! How true this is. When we choose to turn our head on abuse or ignore what has been revealed, we have begun the process of partnering with the evil done. The denial and coverup is so insidious and can be as harmful as the abuse. To know and deny is a betrayal of the conscious, of love and of truth – the playground of Satan.
God help us to have the courage to see as you see, love as You do, bringing the truth to light so the land may be healed.
As. Catholic I always received penance when I went to confession. The Catholic Church’s penance could be to change direction and globally save the unprotected . I am so saddened by the response.
I’ve been wrongfully accused by phyisicans who examend my daughter and she cried out for her daddy. I wasn’t even in the room and heard her call out.
I’ve also had physicians try to convince my ex to admit that I have her a black eye even though she is a clutz and she walked into a post.
From someone who recently walked beside a family going though sexual abuse against a 2 year old who was in day care–thank you for being the woman of god you are–the one who will step up–the one who loves and cares..you are a blessing to many and this type of thing has to be stopped in the world we live in…and we know it won’t because sin is prominent but we do need to be the ones who will step up and step in..Thank you!
I think whether it’s an innocent child as the case above or a woman confiding in her friend about her spouse unfaithfulness and abuse, we have responsibility to get that person help and out of the hands of the person of the perpetrator. From my own personal experience I can tell you the consequences of not doing so are devastating. We need to be far less concerned about the public opines of others than we do about defending those who are not in a position to do so for themselves.
As a believer who is an attorney who is privileged to work as a child advocate — thank you! I am sometimes shocked at the excuses I hear for abuse both physical and sexually. May we all care when we see. It is not easy to step in, so may God give us the courage to act and the wisdom on how…
As a believer and a detective who’s case load focuses primarily on juveniles, it’s frustrating (to put it nicely) to investigate cases where I believe the victim is telling the truth about their allegations. Unfortunately, what you know and what you can prove are two different things. I’ve seen more cases have criminal charges declined by the state’s attorney’s office because it’s the victim’s word against the suspect’s, there is no forensic evidence to corroborate one story over the other, and often times the reporting occurs years after the incident. They can’t prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, so no charges are filed. It’s even worse when the suspect is a parent of the victim, and allegedly a “believer”, denies any wrongdoing, but everything about their response (behavior, words, etc.) is not normal and screams guilty. I’m forced to leave it to God after I’ve done my best. But often times, my best doesn’t seem good enough. At least not for the victims. Add to all that the fact that some (not all) reporters do lie/exaggerate/fabricate some or all allegations and it makes for a big challenge in the area of spiritual discernment.
Spot on Lina! I do want to mention that Gordon brought up a good point. The Key word is awareness. Now that the lights are on we can’t let that awareness to lead us into assumption. In this case, there isn’t much Gray area and if a stand isn’t taken no matter how awkward its of equal detriment as the abuse itself. In Gordon’s case it looks like someone jumped to a conclusion. There is a lot of fear in situations like this. Fear of the truth, fear of what bringing the truth to light will mean, fear of what will happen if you don’t bring the truth to light, and the fear of being wrong about the truth. Where there is fear, there you will also find Satan. it’s essential that we rely on Godly understanding and prayer on these matters, leaving out judgement and fear.
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