A friend I greatly respect and look up to recently asked me to sign her up for my blog.
I froze.
I couldn’t do that.
I felt the immense weight and the pressure of it.
How could I live up to that expectation?
What if I had a bad blog one day? Or worse, what if I went through a series of bad posts?
What if I wasn’t funny enough or deep enough or smart enough?
The way I added it up, I knew I could impress her on some of the days. I figured I could just send her the good posts and prove to her how smart I was, and choose to hide all the bad ones in fear.
I’d have more control.
I wouldn’t have to be as vulnerable.
I wouldn’t have to feel so naked.
What would happen to our friendships and our relationships if we stopped caring so much about what others thought about us, and were willing to risk being found out instead?
What would happen to our relationships if we refused to hide behind fear and jumped all the way into intimacy instead?
What would happen to our churches if we stopped cowering in self-protection and allowed each other to fail – or worse yet (gulp) allowed ourselves to fail? What if we were determined to stick it out with one another, even on the bad post days? What if we promised commitment to one another no matter what?
I wonder how that would impact our world.
I wonder how that would change our lives.
I suppose we’ll never find out until we jump.
Here’s a secret if you’re still afraid: when you do jump, no matter what others decide, Christ’s love is always going to catch you: There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).
What has your experience been with intimacy? Do you find it encourages deeper relationships, or exposes you to more hurt? Leave us a Comment!
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Intimacy is hard but it’s critical to experiencing Gods love.
Amen . Intimacy can be tough.But it encourages you to trust more on a deeper level.
Intimacy? Do you find it encourages deeper relationships, or exposes you to more hurt?
I believe it’s both, to be intimate you must remove some of our protective armor we put on, and in turn it does expose our hearts to a hurt now and again. But if we remember the breastplate of righteousness covers and protects our heart it will encourage deeper relationships, and the Father is waiting with open arms to embrace and lift us up again when we do expience a hurting Heart. Good post, Lina.
It can do both things, the truth is it cannot change God’s love
Amen! Well said.
Wanting vertical intimacy is Fathers’ desire and our longing. Between people, are we replace that desire with some human expectation?
It is not easy and takes time.
Thank you, Lina! So far, I feel you are very open and focused.
If I had a thing going on in my life before and after I start to walk by faith in Christ, was what people will think about me or what I do. But I discovered that after I start living a new life in Christ I changed, I’m looking back and I don’t see the same things in the same light, and I think that’s what it suppose to hapend. But I also found that people have expectations, depending on the person I want to impress and I try not to disappoint, but then I remember I don’t have to do this…. I just have to do the best I can and people that realy truly love me, will accept me and I love will give me the correction if needed.
At the end of each day, what matters the most for me is what Jesus said about me and what I did.
Thank you Lina, for reminding me about this at the beginning of a new day, and a new week.
It is so much easier for me to accept someone else’s failures than to let them accept me for mine. But I knew my husband would be my husband when I shared my darkest sin with him and he did not walk away. I was lucky though because he started the conversation by sharing first. It is so much harder to be that open with each other as women. I know I was hurt in the past…it is a hard fear to overcome and I think alot of us are still waiting for someone else to make the first move.
I have had intimacy spit back in my face and I have had it be great. I believe you always need to step forward in intimacy in order to glorify God, despite our own fears of the outcome. Even when I felt like it was spit back in my face, I knew in the moment God was glorified because of my step of faith.
I’m trying to be more brave. I’m taking more risks (not unhealthy, unwise risks, just to clarify). I’m tired of living by so many rules and boundaries of my own making! God has rules for a reason – to protect us – but I’ve found that I added to His rules to protect my heart. It has only led to lack and a false sense of security and safety. So, this year is my year of risk and my year of expectancy. I want God to shake me up a bit so that I can better love others – fully, freely, and deeply.
I think intimacy is necessary to further develop relationships with other believers and within your walk with God. I think intimacy is essentially what keeps us focused and allows us to dig deeper essentially leveraging our walk further and deeper with God.
I have to say the more I expose ..the less I have to hide and it feels good.
I am blessed with coming from a tribe 12 of us 48 grand kids ,so I figured out how to hide out and look generous not for a time but for years. It is of recent that I am reprogramming my brain to not live up to non existent expectations Way way way way more easy for me and my household . I have been reprogramming because my way definitely was not working . Lots of things happened and I think I used all my dumb defenses and alcohol .My family is like a city and I belonged to that city. The little phrases I heard became a saving grace for me . “keep your side of the street clean.†“live and let live “,”I can’t ………he can……….I think I’ll let him”,”poor me…..poor me…………pour me another drink”, “we are only as sick as our secrets “well I held on to those phrases and more and have over thought them, I still have a few secrets I will let go of when the time is right. I hate bible studies and women talking but this year I one upped it ,I love listening to my bible teacher and kicking and screaming I am finding out that in sharing my secrets with other women I am relieved and God has been transforming into Lord. Even though I had to wait 60 years it was well worth the wait. Thanks