One of the growing issues that the Gay Christian community has brought up against the Church is the Church’s unfairness in expecting homosexuals to live a life of joyless celibacy.

It turns out I have some things in common with my Gay Christian friends.

I am a 43 year old, never married straight Christian virgin. In other words, I too have been confined to celibacy.

And the world has continued to rotate on its axis.

As a fairly experienced celibate, let me give you 5 thoughts about life as a celibate Christian:

#1 I am celibate because I am a follower of Jesus Christ

In 2015 it is not the norm to be celibate. Most people don’t think it’s natural and many might explain my quick temper to my choice to be celibate. Too much pent up energy. Who knows. All I know is that I am a follower of Jesus Christ. This means that He’s the one I live to please. He’s the one I’ve given my life to. What He says I want to do. Where He leads I wanna go. Period.

#2 I am celibate because the Bible tells me so

Yes, believe it or not, God has complete authority over my life and He tells me exactly what He wants from me in His word. Do I always obey him without error? No and thank God for grace. Have I failed in the area of lust? You can read my book on singleness called Thrive and get the whole story. But at the end of the day, I am celibate because God in His word tells me to live this way as a single follower of Jesus.

#3 I am celibate and it is a costly step of obedience

Do not for a second think that being celibate is natural for me. It is not. But it is a decision I have made using my will not my feelings because I have given my life to someone who demands complete allegiance. If you don’t understand the demand of Jesus to deny self and take up your cross, then you might need to reevaluate whether you’re a true follower of Jesus Christ.

#4 I am celibate and this might never change

I totally get what you’re thinking: my plight is still better than the gay Christian’s because in principle I could have sex legitimately with someone of the opposite sex if I would just get married already. As if. Or as Jen Hatmaker would say “For the love”. I’ve been engaged twice and trust me when I tell you that there is a higher likelihood for a gay Christian to get married to someone of the opposite sex than for me to get married at this point. And my dad concurs.

#5 I am celibate and it glorifies God to no end

That there is something more valuable than an orgasm. That there is satisfaction beyond the physical realm. That there is a treasure worth having that is far richer and more worthy than a quick fix. . Yeah, you better believe that God is glorified when you place more value on a relationship with Him than a temporary sexual experience.

So there you have it. What do you think about celibacy and God’s plan for his followers? Is it fair?

To check out my book Thrive on singleness (in which I talk a lot about sex), click here!