If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you might already know this:
I am single.
Which means that technically speaking, I am in the dating pool. I also wrote a book on singleness which pretty much makes me an expert in all things related to dating, right?
Over the years I’ve learned that there 5 things you should never tell yourself about dating:
#1 I Should Lower my Expectations
While many singles can certainly be too picky, the truth is that what you settle for is what you will end up with. Instead of lowering your expectations, how about setting Godly expectations? In this era most of us have come to believe that a great set of abs trumps some solid theology at least 5 to 1. Think again. The same holds true for you, guys. Check your list before you wreck your dating self.
#2 But I Don’t Want to Let Them Down
“They” could be your parents, your friends, your small group leaders or your pastor. Whoever “they” are, “they” aren’t the ones who will be in your home with you when the lights go out. “They” won’t be the ones who will have to work through the conflict and find peace and harmony with your future spouse. You will. So, take their advice with a grain of salt, but ultimately, you are the one who will have to live with your decisions. Make them wisely.
#3 This Just Feels So Right
Watch out if you’re one of those touchy feely fuzzy seeking stars in the sky types who believes that just because it feels so right it will be all right. It might, but then again, it might not. When thinking about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, make sure you don’t just “loooove” that person, but actually like them. When the feelings wear out, make sure your values and your goals are headed in the same direction. In other words, set your feelings aside for a moment and think through this.
#4 I’m Getting Too Old For This
I’m over 40 now, and can’t avoid the notion that the years are creeping up on me. Maybe you’re like that too. You’re past the ripe age of 25 and your aunt Myrtle is worried you’ll never find the one. Frankly, you’re a little bit worried too. Stop yourself. It’s never too old to fall in love. It’s never too old for you to find the one. Whether you’re over 30 or over 60, it ain’t over until it’s over. Don’t give up on dating yet.
#5 It’s no Big Deal. He/She will Change
If you’re convincing yourself that that annoying habit you’ve noticed in him/her will just disappear the more you love on him/her, think again. If it’s driving you nuts now, odds are it will drive you even nuts-er after you tie the knot (can I have a witness from the marrieds?). Look, people change. The gospel changes us. But if you’re dating someone with the hopes that they are going to change, think again. Are you willing to love them even if he/she never changes in that area?
Hey, dating is for marriage in God’s economy. That makes it serious business.
I’d love to hear some of the bad dating tips you’ve been given too! Share them in the comments section.
Posted on 10/27/2014 at 12:00:00 AM
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